Repost because I made an edit that reddit didn’t like. A bit of context about myself: I was the guy always in the background, invited to the marriage of others while never having held hands, which isn’t a nice experience. After a time I fell into the wrong internet crowd, it felt nice at first to find people with the same issues I had, made me feel understood. But I could only take so much blaming society, one gender, and pseudo-science before my common sense told me enough was enough. Trying and failing to find someone didn’t make my life any better, neither did being angry all the time for fabricated reasons. So I took all these efforts and put them into getting over it. I sank into hobbies, meditation, work, all the stuff to keep myself busy. I had other goals to reach and at least it felt like I was succeeding at something there. Took me a number of attempts, but I did find a routine that worked out for me. Eventually, seeing other people getting together stopped being bothersome and I hardly thought about it. Changing career and going deeper into writing and cooking takes a lot of brain power. Edit: I changed career because the previous job felt like it didn’t help anyone at all. I work at a rehabilitation clinic to help people who suffered accidents leaving them disabled, I volunteer at a soup kitchen, and I used to volunteer elsewhere but that was getting mentally taxing. I’m in my mid thirties now. Life isn’t perfect, but I’m content. I got a roof over my head, a garden, a kitchen to mess up like there’s no tomorrow (I never quite managed to learn how to cook cleanly), a personal library, a bank account to go on vacation when I feel like it and a job I enjoy. It’s hard with friends, as they expand their families they have less time for folks like me with drastically different days. I get it, I got nephews, they are adorable but man would I be unable to do anything at all on the side if they were my kids. It’s been getting harder lately though, as if I was lacking direction or something. Since I switched career, I lost the main thing that occupied me, and I’m just restless. I still got hobbies to sink into, stuff to do, but it’s become harder to focus. My brain gets sidetracked easily, and to top it off libido, that which is supposed to go down with age, seems to go up which is bothersome to no end. I wish nothing but to get back to that moment when my brain could stay focused on a task at hand and not get sidetracked. So, for the people who underwent similar struggles, how did you find your peace of mind again? Did you try a meditation school? Aimed for a brand new path in life? Focused inwards? Outwards? I just need some ideas there. Thank you for reading, and I wish you the best. submitted by /u/Amdusiasparagus
Originally posted by u/Amdusiasparagus on r/AskMen