33f here single AF and no intention to seek a partner or marriage anytime soon but I do discuss such things often. im getting a lot of push back for my understanding of gold digging women in both real life and here on reddit, specifically incomparison to a traditonal family setup in my understanding, a gold digging woman is someone who is seeking a man of welath, and is openly lookign for a transactional relationship where she offers her times her affections and her body in exchange for luxury gifts, rent and bills paid, fine meals and holidays etc. they may or may not be open to marrying any particular rich duide, they may or may not bounce from one to the next if he has more money etc, and in my understanding the men, often older and wealthy, KNOW that this is the arrangement they are getting in to. in my understanding, a woman expecting a traditional marriage (these criteria vary massively depending on what lifestyle she expects) will seek a man with ENOUGH money to support her fully financially, including the home and bills, may or may not include other things like clothing etc, as well as paying for children in future etc. some women seeking tradtional marriage will be more discerning and will seek a man with more than the average amount so they can live WELL. Personally, I’m not seeking marriage, or a traditional relationship. I enjoy my single lifestyle. i would like a partner to be a nuetral or beneficial additon to this. When it comes to dating, I will never understand why a man would be expected to pay for the dates UNLESS HE specifically invites a lady to a pricey restaraunt in which case you chose a spenny spot, to incite someone, it wouldnt be fair to expect them to pay. If a man INSISTS on paying, he can, but i think its completely unreasonable to complain or expect reward for it. for myself, I dont care how much a man makes, as long as he lives within his means and isnt accruing debt, and has ME sort of plan for retirement. we will find a middle ground of affordabilty between us and work to build our wealth seperately and together. I strongly believe partners should maintain seperate finacnes but work together for all communal things. UNLESS, he wants kids. I’m happy to never have a child, but if i loved a man, I could be convinced but with caveats. If i am to have a child, my expectations change completely. I would require much more assurance and support and financial security. I want to know that the home is being paid off, the bills are being paid, my current (modest) lifestyle can be paid for, AND my investments can continue to be topped up by my partner while i am in the home, out of my career, caring for the family needs. I would also like a stipend, for my gym, my clothing, the things I would have been able to buy myself if I hadnt left my work and lost my income. i would expect this up until I was able to re enter my career. I wouldnt go so far as to expect continued support to make up for lack of career progression though. Im being called a gold digger for this. that I would be a bad partner who was using a man financially etc. Ive been told it’s giving masculine energy and noman wants to be in a relationship where he cant lead etc and that if i wanted such a tradtional marriage, then traditionally, themans finances would be none of my business etc basically im looking for Mens opinions on what they would consider the threshhold between gold digging for luxury lifestyle versus just a woman seeking tradtional marriage roles. submitted by /u/Nova9z
Originally posted by u/Nova9z on r/AskMen
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