Original Reddit post

I really really fucked up. First you need some context. I have been dating my current bf for a year. We just moved in together in January. Everything has been great. Obviously some ups and downs but nothing crazy. I have an ex of 7 years that I dated 3 years ago. With my ex most of our relationship was genuinely just a friendship. The last two years we were not intimate at all. He has autism and got very badly addicted to drugs. He has a terrible home life and also struggles to make friends or genuine connections. I’m truly the only person he has. I don’t really think he’s capable of actually loving someone, from everything I know about him and what he’s told me. After our relationship ended we stayed friends it was all platonic, never a moment of wanting each other. It honestly felt normal. But I was always his person he’d go to when he was depressed or badly on drugs. Going back to the drugs. My ex has become so badly addicted to drugs he doesn’t know how to function without them. He hates feeling like his normal self and wants to die. He takes 10 Xanax bars in a night. I don’t even know how that’s possible but I truly KNOW he’s going to die from this. He’s told me for years in the only person who has ever helped him and I’m the reason he’s alive. I’m glad I can help but it puts a huge burden on me. Current bf. When me and my current bf first met I told him about my ex and how we were still friends, it was fine at first but he started to get uncomfortable about it and lad put some boundaries with me. He couldn’t be with someone who is still friends with there ex like that. He finds it weird. I agreed to these conditions. Although I felt bad about my ex I had been talking about it and therapy and I didn’t feel like it was fair of me to not be happy because he’s putting this huge weight on me. My ex was also not always the kindest person to me. He’s told me multiple times he’s never really loved me in that way. I finally felt love and just wanted to be happy. I genuinely stuck to my word up until a month ago. I get a message from my ex and he’s super suicidal and on some kind of drugs I’m not sure what ( he’s also bipolar idr if I mentioned that ) he genuinely is so out of it and looks so sick. So I’ve been texting him checking up on him for the last month, and texting him behind my partners back. It all was with a pure heart. I had no malice in it what so ever but I know I crossed a huge boundary for my partner. I also told my ex ‘ love you stay strong’ and alot of people love him and care about him. I feel in such a shitty spot. I’m not being dramatic I KNOW my ex is going to die. It’s so hard for me to not try to offer support because I don’t know if I could live with myself if anyone reached out to me needing help and I turned a blind eye. But now my bf saw the messages and broke up with me for it. I know I really messed up. Thank you if you read this all the way. Is there anyway to get him back? What’s the best way to go about it. I want to respect him, if this is the decision he’s making. But I also want to have the best chance possible. I really love him. I feel so disappointed in myself submitted by /u/uwutayy

Originally posted by u/uwutayy on r/AskMen