I haven’t slept in forty-eight hours. I’ve been sitting here in the dark, watching the glow of my triple-monitor setup, realizing that Jagex thinks I’m a joke. They think they can just demand $15 a month. $132 a year. For the only world I actually belong in. They think because I haven’t had a “real job” since the Obama administration that my time and my loyalty have no value. They’re wrong. I’ve spent the last decade perfecting the art of clicking. I’ve conditioned my nervous system to respond to 0.6-second intervals with more precision than a neurosurgeon. I don’t “play” RuneScape; I inhabit it. And if Jagex wants to threaten my habitat with this corporate greed, they’re going to find out what happens when a group of men with nothing to lose and infinite free time finally decides to log out. The Plan is already in motion. We’ve dubbed it “Operation: Zero Entry.” I finally crawled out of the basement this morning. The air in the hallway felt thin, and the light from the kitchen window actually physically hurt, but I had to do it. I sat my mother down and explained the situation. I told her that my career was being threatened by British bureaucrats. After three hours of me explaining the economic impact of the price hike on my four alt accounts, she finally stopped crying and agreed to fuel up the 2012 Honda Odyssey. She’s driving us to the airport on Tuesday. I’ve already cashed out her “emergency” grocery fund to cover the tickets to London. Why we cannot fail: There are twelve of us. We are the “Unwashed Vanguard.” We don’t have careers, we don’t have wives, and most of us haven’t had a conversation with a stranger in person since 2017. Our social anxiety has reached such a critical mass that it functions as a physical shield; no security guard is going to want to get within ten feet of the sheer aura of musk and pure, concentrated focus we’re bringing to that lobby. Our tactical approach is flawless because it’s based on physics Jagex themselves created. We’ve practiced our movement in my backyard (at night, so the neighbors wouldn’t call the police again). We move in perfect sync. If a security guard tries to put a hand on me, I’m not going to fight him. I’m going to “flick.” I’ve spent thousands of hours clicking a prayer icon; do you really think I can’t time my breathing and my physical posture to make myself untouchable? We’re bringing 28 items each. No more, no less. Mostly room-temperature Powerade and gas station meat sticks. It’s the only fuel our bodies know how to process without going into shock. We will walk into that office in Cambridge, and we will simply… stay. We have more stamina than any employee in that building. We’ve stayed awake for 72 hours straight for a clan event; do they really think we’ll fold after a few hours in a lobby? We will sit on that floor, staring at the receptionist with the dead-eyed intensity of a man who has killed 15,000 lizardman shamans, until they realize that we are the ones in control. I finished packing my bags. I’m leaving my bed behind because, frankly, I don’t plan on sleeping until the price is back to $5.00. Jagex, you didn’t just raise the price of a game. You declared war on a demographic that has nothing but time and a very specific set of useless skills. The Odyssey is idling in the driveway. The Basement Vanguard is coming. TL;DR: My mom is crying, my skin is grey, and I’m currently 3-ticking my way to the airport. If you’re a casual"who thinks $15 is okay, stay out of our way. We’re doing this for the real ones. submitted by /u/MyDadBeatsUpYourCat
Originally posted by u/MyDadBeatsUpYourCat on r/2007scape