I’ve been seeing a woman who I really, really like. Recently, she’s started hinting at being exclusive, and it’s forcing me to face some tough realizations about myself and how I operate. To give some background: I’ve mostly dated casually and have only had 1 or 2 serious relationships in my entire life. I don’t really know what a healthy, exclusive relationship is suppose to look like day-to-day. Over the years, people have told me I have this “aura of mystery” which seems to attract women. The irony? I’ve totally taken advantage of it by keeping my feelings unclear, appearing distant/busy, and putting on a front of not caring. It works for building initial attraction, but the truth is, it’s a complete mask. That “mystery” is just me being a quiet introvert who has a really hard time connecting with people. I don’t have a lot of friends, so I keep to myself. In reality, I am dying for healthy social connections and friendships. I’m insecure about letting someone see who I truly am: just a regular dude with no friends, trying to chase his dreams and be happy. There is no actual mystery there. Now that things are getting serious with this woman, I want to drop the games. But I’m terrified that once she sees behind the curtain, the attraction will fade. I’m hoping to get some perspective from people who have successfully navigated long-term relationships: What is a healthy, exclusive relationship supposed to look like, without all the modern dating games? How do you maintain attraction past the initial dating phase when you let your guard down and the “mystery” is completely gone? Any advice, hard truths, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. submitted by /u/Icy_Two_2382
Originally posted by u/Icy_Two_2382 on r/AskMen