At what point would you decide to take your bat and ball and go home when dealing with a highly volatile custody dispute over your child? Mine had been going on for 8 years, consisted of 3 allegations of abuse (two of which were claims of sexual abuse), all of which were unsubstantiated. It stretches across two states, has lawyers involved, put my child into therapy as early as 2 years old. Spouse has worked diligently in interfering every attempt I’ve taken, alienating my son against a family therapist I had setup with him that I had to pay out of pocket for. I’ve lost multiple jobs, sleep, mental health, over this. I am $20k in debt to my attorney. My child doesn’t trust me, being manipulated to gather information on me, and ultimately sees his step dad as his dad rather than me. There is a bond there, one that is formed out of my efforts to be genuine, authentic, and communicative with me. He recognizes that my behavior doesn’t reflect what he hears about me, but is too young to question what he hears. Two years ago I nearly made a bad decision and have worked really hard to get myself out of that place. This past fall, I realized to keep myself out of that place I have to learn to let my son go. That if I do so and truly work on myself rather than sacrifice myself in fighting for him, I could become the man he NEEDS me to be when he’s older, and not the man I want to be for him. But in doing so, I had to disengage. I’ve made no visits out to see him, am wrestling with even wanting to have visits with him this summer, and have pulled away from my skypes with him. I wrestle with him being my whole world and me being completely apathetic towards him now. And I deal with the shame very day of feeling like I am neglecting him and knowing his mother is fostering those same thoughts into his head. submitted by /u/SwitchJumpy
Originally posted by u/SwitchJumpy on r/AskMen
You must log in or # to comment.