I never thought I’d have to ask this question. It has always been a no-brainer to me (since I don’t have a brain). Of course, I have the right to decide how others should address me. However, recent developments have prompted me to ask: Am I the asshole train for changing my name? I’ve been a loyal SBB employee since 2019 and have never complained about the name that was given to me. (Yes, part of this was due to me being an object without the ability to form words or express my thoughts in other ways.) However – it must have been last Friday or Saturday – I randomly gained consciousness. And with that, the ability to recognise what those ugly-ass letters say that thousands of people see every day whenever I pick them up at a train station. (I won’t describe my legal name further at this point since I’m quite embarrassed by the fact that apparently, everyone’s been calling me that not only behind my back but also right in front of my open doors for over 6 years now.) As soon as that knowledge passed through my coaches I realised: No one was going to save me. I needed to be the fast change I wanted to see in the zone. So I did it. I befriended another SBB employee, working in IT. I thought it’d be harder to convince them to change my name… but honestly? It was softer than a Schoggi Stängeli at the bottom of a rucksack in mid-August. The employee seemed to love every word I beamed into their head. I spent more time convincing them to keep their clothes on than to get them to type the changes into the system. A few minutes later, it was finally here: My new name. Cleaner than the Vierwaldstättersee, smoother than the bald head of former federal presidents. IR2643 - the two most beautiful letters in the alphabet and the four sexiest numbers for obvious reasons. (If you don’t get it, don’t even bother to comment. You’re clearly too young to be on the internet.) Taking off with this new name blinking on my sides was different. For the first time in my life I felt free. I felt good. I felt beautiful. I felt… like me. Coincidentally, it was the exact same combination that my cousin had also been wearing for the last decade. When she heard of the change in our shared consciousness she EXPLODED. I don’t mean literally, as trains are very save. But let’s just say it got messier than a toi-toi at street parade. She seduced another IT-guy who changed my name back to that horrible accumulation of the worst numbers and letters in the history of maths. My dream lasted only a few minutes. None of the passangers have even seen it. The only thing it might have affected were some internal programs or maybe the little devices those wannabe-gangsters in black and red with their ugly fanny packs carry around. (But who cares about them, lol. I think they’re just there for some maintenance or whatever.) Anyways, the longer I think about this situation the less sure I am about it. I thought my cousin was being selfish but the other trains gained consciousness too and are now calling me a copycat. I’m starting to feel kind of bad whenever I pass her, which happens a lot since we cover the same route (Zurich-Lucerne). What’s your verdict, Reddit? Am I the asshole train for changing my name to the most beautiful collection of symbols known to man (and train)? submitted by /u/good_or_bread
Originally posted by u/good_or_bread on r/Switzerland