Hey everybody, I’m 19 and I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. I’ve realized I’m pretty emotionally closed off, and after self-reflecting I’ve realized this is one of the things I need to work on as it’s hurting my ability to connect with people in general, not just girls. I’ve naturally always been reserved and kind of guarded. I never really allow myself to get close to people. I wouldn’t say I’m antisocial or an introvert either, because I have no problem conversing with people, but it’s moreso I just never got past the stage of building an actual connection or a deep meaningful relationship. I enjoy listening to others open up (guys and girls) and feel good when I am able to be the open ears that one may need when they just want to sit and vent. However, when I try to open up or be vulnerable, I instantly feel uncomfortable and feel like I’m being soft, weak, or pretending to be someone I’m not and I shut back down into my cold, callous state. Even when the people I’m around actively encourage me to open up and I know they would listen attentively if I did, I just have a hard time doing it. Anytime I try and open up or be vulnerable I just feel like I’m being a burden to the other person and would rather deal with my battles I’m facing myself rather than burdening someone else with it. As stated earlier, this isn’t just with girls, this is with my male friends too, im reserved and guarded with everybody. I don’t want to completely change who I am, but I also do want to learn how to open up and be more vulnerable around a girl I’m interested in and in general just anybody I want to have deep meaningful relationship/connection with, rather than being stuck in a cold, callous state of mind. I know I have feelings, I just have a hard time showing them without feeling exposed or embarrassed. From a woman’s perspective, how important is emotional openness early on? And what does “healthy” vulnerability actually look like in real life? Also any advice on how I should go about being more comfortable being open to others would be appreciated as well. Any advice would help. Thanks in advance. submitted by /u/OfficialMiniMan00
Originally posted by u/OfficialMiniMan00 on r/AskGirls
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