My wife and I have a good marriage overall, but something has been slowly bothering me and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable. For context, I work from home as a Staff Engineer, and she’s a middle school teacher. Her job is definitely more emotionally draining day-to-day, and I get that. Because I WFH and my job is generally more flexible, I’ve naturally taken on more around the house—laundry, cleaning, dinner, etc. I didn’t really mind at first. But lately (especially during a stressful work period for me), it’s starting to feel one-sided. If she has a bad week, a lot of responsibilities just fall on me—chores, cooking, picking up, even a lot of the harder parenting stuff like discipline, getting our kid to try new things, bedtime battles, etc. I feel like because her job is tough and mine is “at home,” there’s an unspoken expectation that I’ll just pick up the slack. The part that’s getting to me is that it feels like she’s allowed to “check out” when she’s had a bad day/week, but I don’t really get that option. Even when I’m stressed, things still need to get done—and I’m usually the one doing them. Also, by the end of the day she’s pretty drained (understandably), so there’s not a ton of emotional energy left. I’m someone who benefits from a bit of reassurance/connection, so that’s been tough too. I don’t think she’s doing this intentionally, and I know teaching is exhausting. But I’m starting to feel a bit taken for granted and honestly just worn down. I guess my question is: Has anyone dealt with this kind of imbalance before? How do you address it without it turning into “you don’t do enough” or a bigger conflict? submitted by /u/mercfh85
Originally posted by u/mercfh85 on r/AskMen
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