So for some context, I’m a 31M and I’ve been married to my wife (30F) for about 4 years. When I met her, I had just come out of a long, toxic relationship, and looking back now, I rushed into marriage way too quickly. At the time it felt right, but in hindsight, I can see I didn’t give myself enough time to reset or really think things through. About a year into the marriage, I started noticing signs that I might have made a mistake. Instead of addressing them, I pushed those feelings aside and kept moving forward. On paper, things looked good. My wife is attractive, and together we’ve accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Then she got pregnant, and now we have a daughter who’s almost 2. The problem is, ever since becoming a father, I’ve had more and more moments where I deeply regret my decisions. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve lost count. I love my daughter more than anything, but I don’t feel the same about my wife. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t even enjoy being around her anymore. I don’t like talking to her, going out with her, or spending time together. We just feel incompatible in almost every way. I’m very social, I love music, going out, meeting people. She’s the opposite, her social life revolves mostly around her family, and she doesn’t share any of those interests. I’ve also realized I’ve always been attracted to more traditionally “girly” women. My wife is attractive, but she’s not like that. She doesn’t really care about things like dressing up or nails, and her personality can be loud and sometimes confrontational, even in public. It’s not extreme, but it comes across as aggressive, and it bothers me. I catch myself subconsciously comparing her to my exes, which I know isn’t fair or healthy. Ironically, those relationships were toxic, but they had qualities I find myself missing now. And I don’t like what that says about me or who I’m becoming. To be completely real, being in this relationship often feels emasculating to me. It feels like she’s always operating in a more dominant or “masculine” way, and that dynamic just doesn’t sit right with me. I know I haven’t gone into a ton of specific examples, but I’m trying to explain the overall feeling. I guess what I’m really looking for is perspective from other men who’ve been in a similar situation, especially those with kids who ultimately decided to leave. What pushed you to finally make that decision? submitted by /u/zyzz_brah20
Originally posted by u/zyzz_brah20 on r/AskMen