I (F-mid 30s ) was finally able to see my long distance partner (M - mid 30s) after 6 weeks. He asked me the night before what I wanted when we do the deed (sexually) and I had asked him for lots of foreplay, teasing, etc. the main reason being - I have torn down there before when I wasn’t “ready” ( muscles not relaxed yet, not enough foreplay, not wet enough for PIV yet). The next day comes, and he gives me only moments of kissing / little foreplay as I direct him towards it. Keep in mind I had asked him the night before to keep it fun to “deny” me a bit and build lots of tension. After few moments of kissing I feel him entering, and I knew I wasn’t ready. I told him be gentle, go slow. When all was said and done, I ended up tearing at the opening. I felt confused and a bit hurt, so in order to avoid conflict in the heat of the moment, I texted him when I went home that I tore, and asked him why he didn’t give more foreplay. He said he couldn’t wait any longer. He got defensive and calls me accusatory, and in order to end the convo said “sorry I’ll make sure next time.” apology that felt more dismissive than empathetic. I was just telling him what happened and using words to avoid accusations. He said “you told me what you wanted, not needed. They’re 2 different things.” I was speechless and felt gaslit. I cancelled our next day plans and told him I needed to see a doctor and get checked. He got upset, and didn’t text me for 3 days after, finally sending a “hey what’s going on?” After leaving me emotionally confused and in physical pain. In these three days of silence, He didn’t check on me, offer to go to the appointment with me, and when I asked him why, he said he prefers in person communication and doesn’t like texting. I asked him why he didn’t call me then to ask me if he could see me and he said he was scared I was still upset. He said our preferred “communication” methods have an incompatibility issue. I felt he kept dodging the original issue (aftercare) Is this rational behaviour to expect from your male partner after you’re accidentally injured during sex? Or am I overreacting? submitted by /u/0-D2008
Originally posted by u/0-D2008 on r/AskMen