I’m asking this seriously because I’m starting to think a lot of men are right when they say venting to women can be a mistake. I recently got married, and I’ve gone to Reddit looking for advice on real issues involving my wife and marriage. Stuff like communication, her changing her mind on kids, sex, and trying to understand how to handle situations I’m new to. I wasn’t going there to bash my wife or act like I’m perfect. I was trying to get a perspective and hear both sides. Instead, in subs like relationship_advice, relationships, and AmIOverreacting, I got some responses from women that felt straight up toxic. Not just disagreement, I mean immediate hostility and accusations. Comments like “you don’t control her” or “I hate men like you,” when that wasn’t even what I was saying. What made it worse was that once those comments started, it felt like other women piled on, upvoted them, and downvoted me anytime I tried to explain myself or add context. I was trying to be understood and get actual advice. Instead, it felt like I was getting treated like the enemy for being a man asking for help. When I clicked on some of the profiles of the women leaving the harshest comments…a lot of them were posting about being divorced, single, hating men for things they had gone through, posting cat pictures, and saying other bitter or toxic stuff in different subs. At that point I just sat there thinking, okay, now this makes more sense. These people are not responding to my situation fairly. They are projecting their own anger, baggage, and issues with men onto me. That’s where my frustration really comes from. I’m trying to better my marriage, and instead I’m getting piled on by people who seem like they already have a problem with men before they even read what I wrote. Then when I try to clarify myself, I get buried in downvotes like I’m automatically wrong. To be clear, I’m not saying every woman on Reddit is like this. Some were supportive. But I’ve had enough bad experiences now that I honestly understand why some men say not to vent to women at all, because sometimes it really does feel like a trap. My wife and I do have a couples therapist, so I’m not trying to replace that. I was just hoping to get extra insight without getting bashed. submitted by /u/legendarykam
Originally posted by u/legendarykam on r/AskMen