Married one year, together almost five. I love my wife deeply but I’ve noticed I spend a lot of mental energy anticipating her mood triggers. She gets anxious flying, she needs a cold room to sleep, she gets irritable when hungry, all pretty normal stuff individually. But over time I’ve built up this constant low level vigilance where I’m mentally running calculations trying to prevent any of these things from going sideways, especially during travel. And when something does go wrong I feel this spike of stress that’s almost disproportionate to the situation. I’m not looking to complain about her, these are just human quirks, but I’m curious how long married men handle this kind of thing. How do you stop internalizing your partner’s discomfort as your personal failure to manage? How do you stay calm and present when you know a storm might be coming without spending the whole trip or day bracing for it? submitted by /u/rrroooyyy
Originally posted by u/rrroooyyy on r/AskMen
I spent way too fucking long in a marriage always trying to make sure my wife was happy, Sometimes at the expense of my own happiness. I would plan things to make sure she wasn’t going to get upset or If I saw she was starting to get upset. In the end, it was clear she hated herself and there was nothing I could do about it. Divorced three years now happy, very happy.