Dads, how often do you lose your temper with young kids? Do you ever grab them in anger? When is it discipline, and when is it crossing the line? I’m 38, married, with young kids. My husband (50) works long, stressful hours for a startup and has always had a temper. He’s always been hotheaded, but since having kids and moving to a place he doesn’t have many friends, he has full-blown blowups every few months. About 5 times he’s physical with the kids in ways that scare me when they were as young as THREE. (Like grabbing their arm hard or picking them up and slamming them on the bed though he calls it “firmly placing” when they are not doing anything dangerous, just not listening or running from him, as kids that age do.) Again this is like 4 times in 10 years. Screaming happens more often. He apologizes afterward, but often then flips jt and says I’m overreacting and blames me for being too hard on him or too soft on the kids. It has created a situation where I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and pretty uncomfortable. We’ve been in therapy for 2 years, both couples and individual, and he has stretches of being more controlled. He admits he has an anger problem. But the pattern keeps recurring. After the latest incident, I told him I’m considering divorce, and he went from victim to “I’ll change” mode. I just want a reality check: how often is losing your temper normal, and when is it genuinely concerning? My gut says this isn’t okay, but he makes me doubt myself. submitted by /u/luna_bloom1818
Originally posted by u/luna_bloom1818 on r/AskMen