Originally I had the knee jerk “NotAllMen” reaction. I was shocked that I was being lumped in with what I assumed was a small percentage of the male population, and that the women who were making these claims were probably exageratting, possibly out of solidarity and good intentions, but it couldn’t have been because SA was THAT common. It was a TREND to say you were a victim, and you know how the internet loves a good viral trend. Then, a person I was dating around the time told me how they get cat called every time they leave the apartment when I’m not with them. How when I was at a restaurant with them, and got up to use the rest room, a guy had asked her for their number. An ex of mine told me after I had a falling out with a friend, that he hit on her all the time when I wasn’t there. That’s when it dawned on me. They weren’t exaggerating, or if they are not to the extent that I was assuming. They had been keeping quiet and putting up with it. After a while of actively observing and thinking about that sort of thing, I learned that essentially, the guys that ARE pulling that stuff are doing it away from the gaze of guys they know who wouldn’t put up with it. I learned about friends and coworkers and even family members who had done things, but never when I was present. Worse yet, they did it frequently. As soon as I heard one story about one of my friends or acquaintances who was being gross and “handsy” and stuff, every other girl had a story about them, and I never knew that side of them existed. Eventually I came to the conclusion that there are a LOT of low-grade predators out there who go after a LOT of women, and they do it with people they know are also predators, or they do it completely alone. Did anyone else have that shift, or is that not a common experience? submitted by /u/Oakenhorne99
Originally posted by u/Oakenhorne99 on r/AskMen