So I’m going to go right ahead and start with saying I completely realise how ridiculous and borderline cruel to my current partner (B) but I need to talk about this. First and foremost, I’m not the type to get attached. I was with a girl around 9 years ago, "A"on and off for 2 years, probably one of the most intense relationships I was in terms of feelings, this was reciprocal. I was abusing drugs very heavily at this time and ended things with her. this was my fault, I didn’t trust myself or anyone around me and that was causing some real issues in my life and with her. I was not the model partner, not even close but we were young. when we first met I was reeling from a broken marriage and met her mid- 5 year - drug binge. I got out of the life after going to prison for a short while. There were consequences, she had left the country, I had met someone else (current partner “B”). circumstances meant we ended up together and have been for 6 years. we had an unplanned child. there hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about A. every morning, every night. We haven’t spoken since 3 days before I went to prison, the last thing she said was that no matter where she was, I was all she could think off. I remember telling her the same thing, didn’t matter who I ended up with, nobody compared. she ended up with a guy, looked really really happy, looked like her was giving her more than I ever could and she looked like she was having a fulfilling life, so I never reached out, I did hear they broke up a while back. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving her. I’m very indecisive and this is one thing I just know is true. like it’s a part of me I can never deny or bury, as hard as I try. it’s breaking my heart every day, lately the pull has felt so strong. I’m really not the type to buy into all that stuff but it’s like a soul tie / twin flame type of feeling that everyone talks about. I feel so guilty about this, I’m with someone else. I feel like I’m betraying her and my child, I don’t want to love A because its hurts so badly not being with her. constantly comparing to her. my mind won’t give me a fucking break. wtf do I do? it would ruin so many lives going back there and god knows if she even feels the same now. send help l o l submitted by /u/Sorry-Supermarket229
Originally posted by u/Sorry-Supermarket229 on r/AskMen
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