Long-distance situation turned inconsistent - drifting into no contact. Need perspective I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m feeling a bit confused about this situation. I was talking to a girl for a while (mostly long-distance). We haven’t met in person yet, but we had plans to meet in the second week of April when she comes to my city. In the beginning, things were genuinely good. She used to call often, send voice notes and pictures, and was warm, engaged, and expressive. Over time, though, her communication started changing. Her replies became dry and inconsistent, there was very little curiosity from her side, and conversations would die quickly. At first, I tried matching her energy instead of over-investing. Eventually, I stopped initiating altogether because it started to feel one-sided. A key moment was on March 16th, when she asked for a call. The call itself was actually very warm and positive, and it felt like things might improve after that. Because of that, I continued letting her take the lead in initiating conversations. However, after the call, the same pattern continued — minimal replies, low effort, and no real consistency. A few days later, she randomly reached out with messages like: “How are you?” “Where are you?” I replied normally and asked about her too, but again, her responses were dry and the conversation didn’t go anywhere. This happened again a couple of days later. At that time, I replied the next day and didn’t ask anything back. Then on a Friday, she sent: “It’s weird but I do miss you sometimes. I hope everything is ok at home.” I saw the message through notifications but didn’t open the chat immediately. About two hours later, she deleted it. Since then, there has been complete silence from both sides. Current situation: No contact from either side She hasn’t followed up after deleting that message No effort to reconnect What’s confusing me is: Why send something emotional like that and then delete it? Why reach out occasionally but still act distant and uninterested? I’m trying to understand whether this is: genuine confusion or emotional inconsistency on her side or simply low interest showing up in an inconsistent way On my side, to be honest, I think I may have over-invested early on and gotten a bit attached. I tried to correct that by pulling back, but by then the dynamic had already shifted. So my main questions are: What does this kind of behavior usually indicate? Is she unsure/avoidant, or just not that interested? And most importantly, should I reach out again before we were supposed to meet, or just leave things as they are? submitted by /u/ASTOMI-
Originally posted by u/ASTOMI- on r/AskMen