Not looking for philosophical answers here, genuinely curious about specific moments. I think a lot of men go their entire lives performing a version of themselves so consistently that the performance stops feeling like a performance. The competent one, the together one, the one who has it figured out. And because nothing ever forces the crack, they never find out what’s underneath it. For me the crack came from hitting a wall hard enough that the performance became physically impossible to maintain. The version of myself I’d been presenting for years — academically intense, ambitious, in control — turned out to be something I’d constructed so thoroughly I’d forgotten I’d built it. The recognition of that was genuinely disorienting. Not dramatic, just quiet and heavy. For my friend John it was 16 years of competitive MMA. The ring was the one place the mask came off completely and he got to just be whatever was underneath, and be rewarded for it rather than punished. Curious whether most men here have had a specific moment like this, whether it came from choice or from crisis, and whether you’d describe what came after as clarifying or just destabilizing. My friend and I talked about this in depth on our podcast if anyone wants the full conversation: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDeadReckoningPodcast?sub\_confirmation=1 submitted by /u/Slow_Union_8822
Originally posted by u/Slow_Union_8822 on r/AskMen