I was involved in an emotional relationship with a married woman for several months. Early on, she told me she was checked out of her marriage, not in love anymore, and felt stuck. She said she wanted a divorce but wasn’t in a position to leave yet. The connection became emotionally intense fairly quickly, and we grew close. Over time, though, we started arguing more. I tend to be direct and ask questions or point out inconsistencies, while she would often become defensive or shut down instead of addressing things. One thing that confused me was the disconnect between what she said and what she did. She claimed she was checked out and wanted to leave, but later told me she was still being intimate with her husband, saying she only did it “to keep the peace.” From the outside, their relationship still seemed relatively functional, which made it harder for me to understand what was actually going on. There was also a pattern where she would sometimes acknowledge small parts of issues or re-engage indirectly, but when I tried to have a real conversation for clarity or resolution, she would disengage, avoid it, or shut down entirely. Toward the end, I repeatedly tried to take accountability for my part and asked for either a real conversation or closure. I know I made mistakes too — I could be blunt, and I pushed for answers when I felt confused — but I was also very reflective about my behavior and owned where I went wrong. Despite that, I wasn’t able to get clarity or closure, and she eventually disengaged completely. Looking back, I’m trying to understand what was actually happening here. I felt genuinely emotionally invested, but also confused and, at times, like I may have been used for emotional support. What patterns or dynamics stand out here, and does this align more with someone being emotionally unavailable, conflicted, or using someone for emotional support? submitted by /u/Hoozah1
Originally posted by u/Hoozah1 on r/AskMen