Just turned 30 a couple days ago. Supposed to feel like something, but mostly just feels shit looking back. Started out in the army as a 2nd Lieutenant at 21 after a year in OCS. That was my first proper job, had plans, wanted to push up the ranks. Then the illness kicked in there and fucked everything. Got medically discharged pretty quick after that. Tried to pick myself up, went and did welding training thinking it’d be solid work I could do. But the environment of the manufacturing industry wrecked my health even more, more pain, more hospital time, just made it all worse. After that I ended up in retail management for a while. Kept trying to climb, take on more, do better. Always had that drive to strive for something bigger. It burnt me out and I got hospitalized again But the illness never gave me a break. Constant flare-ups, hospital admissions, treatments that half worked, side effects that made showing up reliably impossible. Ten years of that cycle basically, just going with the motions i guess. Never got any of the normal 20s stuff other guys talk about building a real career, staying fit, dating saving money, buying a place, whatever. Watched mates move on , promotions, families, house while I was just trying not to completely fall apart. Now at 30 the gap feels massive. Career’s all over the place basically bouncing job to job , money’s tight, relationships are hard people dont know how hard this has actually affected me, i hide it well, and have tried on one occasion to explain how i was feeling but got dismissed, so just never really talked to them about this now . Oh and yeah, that whole, “man up, provide, be the strong one” thing doesn’t switch off just because your body did. Makes the anger and the guilt sit heavy. I know I can still try to build from here, I’ve never stopped wanting more. But accepting I lost a whole decade to this is rough. The" what ifs" keep coming back at night what if the army hadn’t started it, or if welding and retail hadn’t got derailed too. Any other guys been through something like this especially vets who got discharged young, or anyone whose health just stole those years after you were actually getting somewhere: How do you start getting your head around the time that’s gone? Did you manage to rebuild career, fitness, relationships, anythin and what actually helped? How do you deal with the nights the anger or the “what if” shit won’t stop? Just want real talk from people who get how this situation sucks, especially when you had ambition and it got cut short. Thanks if you read all that. Would mean something to hear from others who’ve been there. submitted by /u/BigMeatyClawzzzz
Originally posted by u/BigMeatyClawzzzz on r/AskMen