I’ve been single for 3 years. I’ve recently started trying to date and have noticed a pattern. I’m in a technical, client-facing role which I feel influences how I present myself to potential partners. For context, I have been told by men at work that most men would find me intimidating. I also frequently get complimented on my looks (relevant to what follows). I’m naturally quite proactive, very communicative, analytical and self-aware. Quite a few people that I’ve spoken to on dating sites have said I come across as ‘corporate sounding’ and ‘very intelligent’. There’s a real trade off to this because despite my perceived competence, I’m quite feminine and really like the idea of following my man’s lead (once I have determined he is worthy of it). I’ve found that: - a lot of men are either intimidated/put off by these traits because they feel I’m too much to settle down and have a family with, or - the ones who aren’t admire me, express their awe then either put me in almost a parental role (asking me for insight on xyz rather than pursue me as a potential partner), or - the third category who are too impressed and pursue too much but aren’t appealing to me due to lack of depth. I know the way I present myself contributes to these results. I take control of the conversation, steer it, introduce topics, ask questions and actively share insights. This doesn’t give them space to step up and lead in any way. I have dialed down on it but I need to do a lot more apparently. The caveat is I want to be able to be my authentic self also. What’s the best way to approach this? P.S. I’m pretty uninitiated on the dating scene. Just after a kind, polite, secure and intelligent man who’ll be emotionally safe, someone I can trust and be my feminine self with. submitted by /u/OkTeaching8254
Originally posted by u/OkTeaching8254 on r/AskMen
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