This question is solely for the few of you who might have dated or married a widow. I know, kind of a niche audience… by all means skip this if it doesn’t apply to you. My late husband was a Chicagoan and a huge sports fan. He was always talking about the Cubs and ‘Da Bears’ and his college team, the Illini. He passed away a few years ago and a couple years after he passed, I got a new boyfriend. Today, the Illinois Fightin’ Illini played in the Final Four of the NCAA tournament, and as the game started, my hands started to shake and my eyes watered up as an overwhelming wave of grief took hold. Like, my late husband should BE HERE to see his team in this stage of this tournament. So I just excused myself and puttered around the kitchen and rest of the house doing chores and whatnot, and avoided actually watching the game. (I am kind of glad they lost to be honest because I am certain I would have all the same feelings come flooding back 2 days from now had they gone to the final). So the question is… While I’m pretty sure I hid my momentary discomfort from my bf, should I have stuck it out and just explained what I was feeling instead of burying the feelings? It’s not like I can help it when these moments happen, but I also don’t want my bf to feel bad or like he is somehow in competition with a ghost. If you are (or have been) the “new guy” in a relationship with a widow, have you encountered this situation and were you okay with it or would you prefer your gf not lean on you for this particular kind of thing? I’m not sure how to handle it. Thanks in advance. submitted by /u/calcato
Originally posted by u/calcato on r/AskMen