*Going to make this as high-level as possible and provide details where necessary
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As I’ve grown up and away from my hometown/immediate family, I’ve realized that I came from a pretty dysfunctional family.
My family is actually fairly anti-social in the community yet friendly if approached (they don’t belong to any church, university, country club, athletic club, tech community etc)
A lot and I mean a lot of it stems from my dad, which I have no real relationship with at this point.
My mom is mostly supportive and caring, but I have no relationship with my other sibling and my brother moved away a long time ago (haven’t seen him physically in years but we speak via text/social media a lot of the time.)
Couple of highlights:
-My relationship with my Dad has been mostly inconsistent. He’s always been “physically” present in my life but absent emotionally and support wise
-Rarely, if ever encouraged me in life to pursue passions and or show interest in mine (i.e sports, gym, fitness, video games) EXCEPT for Traveling but even then it’s sparingly
-Very selfish. If you speak to him, he rarely ever mentions his wife and or any one else. If traveling is involved, he’s all for it and that’s all he really cares about (it appears)
-Criticized my looks at one point to a medical professional (which was very weird at the time), and yet never actively helped me with self-confidence (had to learn a lot on my own)
- Got into an argument one time and we cursed each other out. Now, the argument was regarding a family member and how they don’t really do anything. I apologized but they framed it like I was the problem, which wasn’t fair. Also, he ended up talking negatively about this SAME family member yet when I did it, I’m looked at like the villian -One of the few positive things that he did for me, although selfish was giving me the opportunity to travel the world. Been to some unique places and over 18+ countries, which is cool BUT it’s only because he wanted to. -Paid for my schooling, yet this was largely because my mother encouraged him too. I’m very thankful for not having student debt although I wish I had more guidance early on in my career and what path to choose. -Has been pretty selfish with money, grew up fairly decently in the suburbs but had numerous financial issues in the family, due to mainly his selfishness (buying things that we didn’t need without consulting his wife etc). -Rarely, if ever contacts me, checks up on me, or provides any general advice in life UNLESS you specifically are speaking to him in person or catch him on the phone. States that he doesn’t like talking on the phone which is not a reasonable excuse when you have a kid. Ultimately, I ended up moving away from my family and at this point in my life, outside of my Mom and Brother, I don’t want to ever move back. I want to personally continue to distance myself away from my Dad and my other sibling as they provide almost NOTHING to my life at this point. I’m not just talking about money, I’m talking just being supportive, checking in on someone, providing advice, showing you care/love. I don’t get any of that from those two and I don’t see the reason in having a relationship with them. I want to be successful enough to the point I don’t need either of them. Anyone else have a similar background yet was still successful? What was the breaking point? Do you regret your decision? submitted by /u/TowelScared4341
Originally posted by u/TowelScared4341 on r/AskMen