A while ago, I (F31) met a guy (M30) who is in an open relationship. We both ended up developing deep feelings for each other, which wasn’t a problem. His relationship structure allows him to date other people and develop romantic feelings. However, it didn’t work for me because we didn’t have equal autonomy and freedom. Things like when we could see each other, how often, and even how long this kind of connection could continue weren’t entirely up to him. It could also be ended by his girlfriend at any time. That made it feel unstable and not like something I could build on long-term. So it wasn’t really about exclusivity, but rather about the fact that it turned me off that he couldn’t make his own decisions like I can, and he had to limit contact and feelings in order not to affect his relationship. Because of that, I decided to end it right away and we are now staying friends. Through him, I ended up meeting his brother (M32). His brother is single and looking for a long term relationship, and honestly…I like him. I’d be interested in getting to know him and potentially dating him. Here’s the issue: the first guy (the one I’ve been seeing) is uncomfortable with the idea. He thinks it’s weird, and that’s making me second-guess myself. From my perspective, I’m no longer romantically involved with him, and we’ve already established that we’re not compatible long-term. His brother is a completely separate person, and the situation feels different to me. But I also don’t want to create unnecessary drama or cross boundaries I’m not seeing. So I guess my questions are:
- Is it generally considered weird or inappropriate to date someone’s sibling in this situation?
- Am I overlooking something emotionally or socially here?
- How much weight should I give to his discomfort, considering we’re not together? I’d really appreciate honest opinions. Thanks in advance. submitted by /u/hellacure
Originally posted by u/hellacure on r/AskMen