My wife and I seem to be stuck in this loop. Both mid 30s, together for many years. She takes over tasks and has to take control because if I were to take initiative, and it’s not her way (or wrong) then it’s worse for her. So I’ve built habits where I treat her like a boss with bureaucracy in the house. I do the work, she makes the decisions. We need to have roles or else every day is stressful for super simple tasks. That provides some role clarity. I consistently ask her, for example “what you want me to cook you, what mechanic should we get, what time should we arrive, can hangout with friend?” etc. These are easy decisions for me, now granted I’m not perfect and I may make mistakes if I make such decisions. It’s due to these (rare) mistakes that wife takes over the task. So I have to ask this stressed out woman for decisions. I’m a chill guy and I adapt because life is easier that way in a world with stubborn people all around. Go with the flow. She’s more proactive and less risk tolerant. We’re also different cultural backgrounds. Have you been through this before? How’s it going now? submitted by /u/maestro_curioso
Originally posted by u/maestro_curioso on r/AskMen
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