I’m going to be 31 this year. In my teens and 20s the idea of meeting a girl and bonding with her, building a life together, etc. was very appealing to me. It never materialized and I had pretty much no success dating. Used all the apps, joined clubs in college, the works. Back then after several rejections and poor experiences I felt devastated, unattractive, and that I should just give up and continue focusing on my own well being. In my 20s I got a Master’s degree, paid off my loans, and now have a good career. I’ve made a few really good guy friends over the past couple years, and have become the only one in my friend group who is unmarried. Life is really easy and stable. I do my job, take care of myself, and spend my free time with friends and family engaging in our shared hobbies. There’s little stress. When my friends’ wives occasionally come up with a potential connection for me they start with “just so you know, she has kids” or “she has no income right now” or “she just finalized a divorce.” I’m happy they’re upfront with me about this stuff. It just sounds…really rough out there. I don’t want kids and I don’t want to take on a person with significant baggage. Other than the fleeting fantasies of having someone to cuddle with in bed at night, I don’t have any strong desires to date. I have plenty of great personal relationships already and dating just seems like a complete headache to me. The wading through hundreds and hundreds of people to get a date, finding out if you’re compatible, inevitably being compared to other men by her and having to be the best out of all her options, it’s an absolute process that’s beyond painful and has only ever made me feel like crap. TLDR; I realize how much I’ve changed as a person over the past 10 years and what I value most (peace, friends, family, etc.). I’d be thrilled to continue living a fairly quiet, peaceful life. Dating doesn’t seem enjoyable at all to me anymore. And frankly it never really has. submitted by /u/Standard_Subject_401
Originally posted by u/Standard_Subject_401 on r/AskMen
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