Over the past year I’ve noticed I waste a lot of time yearning for a partner. I used to do this too, but it’s getting worse now. Probably like 2-3 hours a day. Usually I’ll just lie around in bed after waking up or before falling asleep pretending my pillow was someone, imagining how we would dote on each other. That or anytime I have more than 5ish minutes of free time at work (wfh), my mind wanders. It makes me feel pathetic and sad. The sexual part I can deal with, it’s annoying and I’ve got death grip, but I also don’t have anyone to disappoint. More than that I want to care for someone and have them care for me. I’m active, take care of myself, have social hobbies, and an active friend group. I thought these things would fill the gap but they don’t. I have close friends, I have talked to them about this, and they have been supportive. Thats great, but I still go to bed and wake up alone. People say pets help so I dog sit for my friends but it feels more like being a single parent more than it feels like a substitute for love. Plus as I turn 30 i find myself always being a third wheel now. I’m not a bad looking guy so once or twice I lowered my standards and hooked up with some characters at the bar, that didn’t do anything for me. I sure hope sex with someone you love is better because otherwise masturbating seems a lot better. I volunteer (for the love of the game), but I’m usually the only not retired person there. My hobbies (drawing/art) have a lot of women but usually I feel ostracized for being the only man there. Dating apps are a bust. I think there’s a racial component as I am Indian. I’ve remade my same dating profile with a Spanish name and then i get lots of likes/matches. But that was just a one time anecdote. Generally I just deal with all this. After all they say learn to be happy with yourself. But this last weekend I matched with a girl (a semi annual occurrence for me), we hit it off, we planned a date, and I foolishly thought my luck changed. I messaged her again to check in and radio silence. Which is pretty common I know but it just stings given how infrequently I really connect with someone. And now as I try to read this monotonous book for an upcoming grad exam, I can’t focus because stupid me got hung up on someone I never met. I wish I never even opened myself up to the connection if it was going to fuck me over. Given my proven track history of not success, I don’t think things will improve in my thirties. And I think these feelings will continue or grow as I get older. I wanna keep them in check or get over it but I don’t know how. I think I’ve tried all the common advice (gym/career/hobbies/volunteer) and they helped me in other ways but I’m still missing this gap in my life. Is there anything else I should try? submitted by /u/ObamasFapTrainer
Originally posted by u/ObamasFapTrainer on r/AskMen
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