ETA: So many responses coming in, so figured I’d reply here: -Yes, this is real. No rage baiting. - I’ve suggested a therapist for him, as I do believe he has a level of depression, but he just hasn’t. (However, I have started going myself). - What I love about him? His intelligence, humour, how loving he is with our kid. - Yes, I’ve thought about leaving a lot of late, but ultimately our child keeps me fighting. It is getting harder as my attraction is dying. - Maybe I am partly to blame, as I let this delusion continue, that he is the man, while I’m walking around with balls the size of a bulls. I’d like help on how to approach my partner without emasculating him. Bit of info. We’re both in our mid-30s. Blended family plus one shared. We are pretty good with communication, great with trust, each other’s best friend, emotionally supportive both ways. However, as we go on, look as though we are really in this for the long run, things that once never bothered me are starting to and I can feel resentment setting in. My partner prides himself on being the man of the house, of the family, the protector and provider. Yet…he isn’t, really. He doesn’t work or drive, no real hobbies and zero ambition. No motivation. He rots at home and day-dreams of younger days when he and his mates were inseparable. I am the breadwinner, the taxi, the cook, the organiser and motivator. I take charge, I keep everything going, I keep us from sinking. I often need to be the one to initiate sex, too. I love this man, despite his shortcomings. I want us to work. Yet, his lack of motivation and growth is starting to bother me. I am losing my attraction. I feel so much pressure. How do I bring up these issues without hurting his feelings and emasculating him? Is there a way I can avoid hurting his ego? I’ve tried being his cheerleader, it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried using logic, it hasn’t worked. He is an exceptionally intelligent man, yet he just sits. Does nothing. Says he’ll do things and never accomplishes them. I also believe he has a porn addiction. He consumes so much. Not even to get off over. He just scrolls 4chan and Twitter so much, every day. How do I help him be a better him, partner, Dad, without making him feeling like shit?! submitted by /u/DarknessSleeping
Originally posted by u/DarknessSleeping on r/AskMen
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