Would appreciate the male perspective on my situation. We’ve been together for almost 15 years, married for 8. I really enjoy travel, he does not. We’ve had many discussions over the years & I’ve been very clear about how this is one of the big things I’m passionate about. He does not really care for travel. We’ve bickered about little trips i.e. we lived in Arizona for a few years & I loved doing day trips to hike some really beautiful trails. He would sometimes come with me, but he always acts like it’s a chore. I get upset because I want him to be excited and want to go. He says he doesn’t mind going because he knows I like to. At first, I accepted this as compromise, but it’s just not as fun knowing that he would rather be at home playing video games or watching tv. He says it’s because I stop too much to take pictures. I agreed and said ok I’ll do less pictures next time, but even if it’s just to get one picture with him in a scenic spot he looks annoyed & ruins the moment. I LOVE travel, I LOVE pictures. I would like him to be just as excited to go. I started going on hikes alone, he was perfectly fine with this. It made me sad, because I would like to enjoy this someone, not alone. I want my man to WANT to accompany me to have fun adventures WITH me not FOR me out of obligation & for safety reasons too!! When it comes to big trips / international travel, It’s the same issues. He’ll go, but he’s a bore to have around. He’s ok with me traveling alone, because he rather not go. So I did that last year. I traveled internationally alone twice, and both times I was sad that he was so nonchalant & ok with that. Most recently, I had booked an Airbnb for a small weekend getaway for last weekend, but ended up canceling it to save money ( we have set a hard goal of paying off my student loans this year). He was so quick to agree to canceling the trip, didn’t protest it at all. But this weekend he paid for a car detailing that cost the same as the total weekend Airbnb cost that I canceled. I voiced I was unhappy about this, and he said he never spends on himself & this was the one thing he did. Which is true, he’s not a spender. Im usually the spendy one so I didn’t continue the conversation but I still feel upset about it. Im torn because he’s not rude about not wanting to go, he always says “he’s down”. But then the day comes & I can just tell via his body language he’s bored or would rather not be traveling & that in turn ruins my mood. Especially because there’s a huge difference in his demeanor vs when he’s out with friends or I accompany to watch him golf. Why can’t he have that same energy for adventures together, just us two? I’ve voiced all this and more. But afterall this year it’s just the same argument over and over. Am I overreacting and expecting too much? Should I drop it? Or should he be making more of an effort? submitted by /u/Candid_lily_1214
Originally posted by u/Candid_lily_1214 on r/AskMen