TW TW TW TW TW TW TW TW . . . . TW TW TW TW TW TW TW TW . . . . . TW TW TW TW TW TW TW TW . . . . TW TW TW TW TW TW TW TW . . . . . . . Here we go: I’ve been so grateful for your gracious support and advice, and been so touched by how this community have helped me regain some hope in men. I’ve asked you before how to be the best mother for a son that I can be, and to share stories from your own life about the good your single mothers did for you when you grew up. First, I’d like to thank all of you for sharing it with me, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to answer all of your responses. Now to my real question, it might be triggering for some. My son got sexually abused by his father when he was only a small child. My son told me with the very little vocabulary he had, and I tried to stop it over and over again. But the system here, almost made me loose custody of my son to the abuser, and so the abuse and custody arrangements continued, while I was being blamed. Even if his father had brutally physically abused and threatened me over many years, and I had lived in a shelter with my son. Even though his father had beaten up his new wife and the cops had to come to their house several times. I was never believed. I never told my son explicitly what he went through, I didn’t want to re-traumatize him. One day he just gave up telling me, or the abuse stopped, because he was the same kid leaving my house, who I got back. But I’ve asked him “do you remember anything bad that happened when you were small?” And he has said “no” every time, and I’ve told him “well, if you do remember one day, no matter how many years it takes, or if something feels off, you can always talk to me, because I know everything that has happened, and there is nothing that can shock me. I know exactly how your father is”. We have now had two years of restraining order against his father, and finally, without my preparation, he told a psychiatrist on their first meeting a few weeks back. We got sent home, with a promise that he would get more counseling. It’s been a month, and we still have to wait a few more weeks. I don’t get ANY help to process this at all. I don’t get any advice on how to talk to him, or support him. Do you have any advice for me at all? I’m really trying my best to make sure he feels safe, and understood. I’m home from work every time he gets sad or scared. Sometimes he misses his dad, cause it’s still his dad. Sometimes he thinks of his past and is sad. How much or how little should I talk to him about it? Should I bring it up, or not? Also, his father has another child, a few years younger. And also he just moved in with two smaller children. I don’t want to put our lives in danger again, but I’m dying knowing no one is protecting those children from this monster of a man. Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning. I’m in Europe btw. But I know the system works the same in the states. I’m 100% single mother, with no family whatsoever. submitted by /u/NightStar_69
Originally posted by u/NightStar_69 on r/AskMen