I don’t know if this is just a “guy thing”, a “human thing” or a habit I picked up from my Dad. Whenever someone is expressing their frustration or challenges, I often feel I have a solution and try to offer it to them. If I don’t, my natural inclination is to ask questions and learn the problem better, and attempt to offer a solution. Obviously the answer is “shut up and listen”. And I have. But internally my mind is screaming “THIS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL THEIR PROBLEMS. TELL THEM!” Of course in reality, their problems aren’t always as simple as they appear to a 3rd party, and my solution may not be the right one. So giving into that voice in my head isn’t always really going to help them, and in reality they just needed someone to listen anyways. So across enough situations/a large enough sample size, I think the largest positive impact I’d have on the people around me is being a better listener and offering solutions if they’re requested. Again, internally my mind is screaming to tell them. And in addition, it does seem to be part of my love language. I enjoy being there for the people I care about, empathizing with them and trying to feel their problems with them, and then wanting to help them. I’m a very analytical person, and maybe through a narcissistic misguided lens, I view my problem solving as one of my few strengths and places I can offer value to the world. I guess it boils down to the fact that without doing this… I feel useless to the people I care about. I can’t say for sure that is the definitive problem here, but it is a thought I just had while typing this out. That’s my circumstance, I’d love to hear about other people with similar mindsets or those that have overcome this. I’d also love to hear from people who have folks in their life that are like this, and how you feel about them. Thank you! submitted by /u/pretentious42
Originally posted by u/pretentious42 on r/AskMen