I noticed a disparity between my male and female friends. My female friends tend to talk openly about sex: what they like, what feels good, what is normal. Meanwhile, my male friends tend to talk more vaguely, almost performatively, as if the discussion is more about performing a dance for approval rather than gathering insight. I have sexual anxiety, so I started reading “She Comes First” by sexologist Ian Kerner, and it made me realize: men really don’t talk about intimacy at all. Nobody ever discussed what is a normal range for penis length, how to perform oral, what things are supposed to smell like, how to groom down there… In hindsight, that insight would’ve relieved a lot of my anxiety. I thought I had a micro-penis until I turned 25. Mine is 5.8 inches, above average (5.125 inches). I’m finding out just how much of an ignoramus I am. I thought of calling my guy friends to discuss the thoughts I’ve been having, but I feel ashamed and hesitant. I’m not sure why. Perhaps, because sexual prowess is a status symbol for men, I fear confessing ignorance and confusion will be socially deprecating. Perhaps it’s because I feel like it’s violating a social more, which is odd, because talking vulgarly about sexuality doesn’t make me as uncomfortable as talking vulnerably. I’m wondering how y’all have learned the norms, rules, and skills necessary to evoke pleasure in partners? Was it just trial and error (and maybe porn), or are y’all getting your information from somewhere else? submitted by /u/Crazed_waffle_party
Originally posted by u/Crazed_waffle_party on r/AskMen
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