I have always had this really intense drive to become financially free and successful. I want the nice car (I love cars) , the money, the lifestyle — all of it. If I’m being completely honest, that’s the main thing I’m working towards at the moment, and a huge part of how I measure my future happiness. My mom has always said that ive been really indulgent since a kid and I do honestly just like nice things, yes its materialistic but I wont bullshit myself and say I dont love having nice things I don’t feel true true happiness and content in any other realm of my life apart from dreaming that ill feel happy once im finally free and have a gt3 outside (car) And I think I need to find something that does make me truly happy, ofc when I go out with my friends im happy and not thinking about money but I mean on te day to day The problem is that I don’t feel content in the present without those things. Day to day, it’s hard for me to genuinely say, “I’m happy with my life as it is” when I don’t have a lot of money, don’t have the things I want, or don’t have a Porsche sitting outside. I constantly feel like I’m chasing a version of life that I haven’t reached yet. I’m honestly jealous of people who don’t want the things I want — people who are genuinely comfortable doing a job they love, who don’t care about money or cars, and who don’t have this burning desire and pressure to make money Logically, I know I already have a lot to be grateful for. I’m healthy, I have loving parents and opportunities that many people don’t get. I’m aware of that, and I don’t take it for granted. But emotionally, it still feels like it’s “not enough,” and that thought honestly makes me feel guilty and shallow sometimes. Just wondering if anyone has advice on this, thanks submitted by /u/FrostingNew6219
Originally posted by u/FrostingNew6219 on r/AskMen
For anyone else feeling similarly:
A phrase I keep close to my heart is “comparison is the robber of joy”. The more you compare yourself to others or long to live the way they live, the more unhappy you become.
The deep longing for material possessions is understandable and I relate to it, but I think there’s an important nugget in what was written.
“Of course when I go out with my friends I’m happy and not thinking of money”
Community is critically important and I strongly suspect while we are on our deathbeds with the end in sight, we won’t be reflecting on what cars we owned or wish we owned, or the designer clothing we had. We will reflect on people in our lives. How they impacted us, how we impacted them, and the time we spent together.
Lastly, even if OP attains all the things they desire, it will almost certainly not make them happy. There’s always a better car or nicer clothes, and something better than what you have. The longing doesn’t go away once you achieve these materials goals, the posts just shift and now you want something else, all while feeling empty.
Make an impact on your friends, family, and community and I suspect some of this emptiness will abate.
Good luck.