I’ll try to keep this brief. I’ve been married to my husband for thirteen years. We have two children and generally a very lovely life. We also used to have a rock solid marriage (well, I think so anyway.) He is everything I could ever want in a husband. He is my favourite person in the world, my absolute best friend, so respectful and considerate, amazing father. I can’t say enough good things about him. We also have an incredible sex life and have a lot of sex. He’s never been a ‘lad’s lad’, never stared at other women, never made comments or been dragged in to conversations like that. Well, not in front of me. Last September I discovered that he’s got quite a severe porn addiction. It completely blind sided me as it just doesn’t match up with who he is. Or at least, who he shows to me he is. It devastated me and I felt cheated on. Sounds dramatic but that’s exactly how it felt. I ended our marriage but he’s worked so hard on himself and really has done everything he can to apologise and make it up to me, but the psychological scarring just won’t go. Some of the porn he watched was teens. It made me feel ill. We’ve just been in town with our children and there were so many teen girls in tiny tops, short skirts etc and while he absolutely wasn’t obviously looking, all I could think of was “he wishes he could have sex with them instead of me.” At this point, I realise I am the issue. He has worked his socks off to try and make it up. I can’t forget it and feel like I don’t know him anymore. It hurts so bad. Do all men secretly desire sex with teenagers? Is it a biological thing that you all have to pretend to not want as society frowns upon it? I don’t know if I’ll feel better or worse for knowing, I just want to know. I think my marriage is over no matter the outcome. Thanks for reading. submitted by /u/lavendercoco
Originally posted by u/lavendercoco on r/AskMen