This may be a long post. I (24M) met a Latin woman (31F) two years ago at a BBQ I hosted. She came with a male friend, so I assumed they were together, but I couldn’t stop looking at her. At the time I’d been single for years, struggling with weed withdrawal, anxiety and a phobia and nothing with other women ever felt real. With her it immediately did even though we didn’t speak that day. A few weeks later, we met again at a party. I found out she was single, and she apparently thought I was handsome too. She spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish but we still connected, danced salsa, and exchanged Instagram. The next night at a Latin club, after she had to make the first move, we danced, kissed, and spent the night together. Later she told me she felt the same spark when we first met. The relationship quickly became toxic. She had deep trust issues from abusive exes, especially one who cheated on and humiliated her. From the start she was jealous, impulsive, and manipulative. If upset, she’d do things like delete only my number from her phone to punish me or intentionally bring up past sexual experiences after I’d asked not to hear about them. I also made mistakes. Feeling unhappy in the relationship, three months in, I cheated by kissing another girl at a club. I worked hard to repair things, but trust was damaged for months. Five months in, I ended the relationship after a trip to Berlin, where she became intensely jealous over me supposedly looking in someone’s direction, leading to a three-hour argument in the city center. Six months later we reconnected and tried again. Her jealousy had improved a lot, but she was still volatile and emotionally manipulative. I ended things a second time last September after she started a fight over something minor while I was at the airport already dealing with severe anxiety. Now, eight months later, we’re talking again. During the breakup period she contacted me 6-7 times seeking comfort and conversation, and now things are becoming serious again. I’ve never felt so connected to someone. Part of me feels like we’re made for each other, but another part knows she’s probably the worst type of partner for me because we’re complete opposites. At the same time, we always described ourselves as yin and yang: opposites that somehow can’t stay away from each other. Idk what to do. On one hand I don’t want to let go because my ego is holding me back, telling me that she only is supposed to be with me. I have never been this convinced of how much someone loves me. I don’t take pride in it and it doesn’t fuel my arrogance, but I fear that I’ll never encounter that love ever again, even if it comes with toxicity and headaches. And the truth is that I still have feelings for her too, and I want us to fall asleep again together and have sex together and do couple things together. On the other hand, I know its best for both of us if we end it and just stop talking and if she’s finally able to let go after a few months. Did you ever have a toxic experience? How did it end? What was something you learned that sticks with you until today? submitted by /u/Rich-Chard9448
Originally posted by u/Rich-Chard9448 on r/AskMen
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