Matched with guy on Bumble in 2022 (I was on travel mode while he was transiting around Asia to Australia for migration from the UK) I had plans to live and work remotely for a bit in Bali and he had a stop there before Australia Had phone sex for weeks and he called me a few times (Lol could barely understand him at first as he’s from the UK) The day I didnt attend my brother’s wedding (Story for another day), he called me and comforted me After that I asked him what was going on with us because he was offering emotional support He said its nothing serious because he doesnt do long distance and I was disappointed Phone sex kept going cause I was honestly enjoying it a lot but nothing more The day I flew to Bali, he flew to Australia, literally as if our planes crossed in the sky Honestly dont know why I did this but in Bali I was dating around and I would ask him for advice We kept in contact for months but eventually lost contact for almost a year when I flew back home to the Philippines and got busy with family matters We reconnected some time near Christmas and (Think it was me again) and I told him I had plans of flying to Australia the next year He responded saying he was actually gonna be in Manila so I said we could meet up We chatted regularly like old times but as his trip got closer, I got caught up with other things (I was also deathly afraid of getting attached) We almost didnt meet because of my fear but we managed to see each other for an hour (Drank, hooked up, and said goodbye) Meeting for the first time after almost 2 years was nerve wracking AF Honestly it was really really jarring and I didnt fully trust him (or any men for that matter) We were both so obviously trying to avoid any real intimacy Few months later we started talking again and he said he was happy we reconnected (Maybe he thought it was over?) Chats became consistent again and sometimes we would call just to talk My trip to Australia got closer and we started seriously planning to meet again This time I was surprised he agreed to 4 days in an Airbnb together The plan was for him to fly in Thursday night, WFH Friday night, and then fly back to his city on Sunday Eventually I chickened out because I knew I wasnt ready for that amount of time together I had just started a new job, recovering from family matters, and trying to regain my sense of self (I was feeling very unstable and insecure) Unfortunately we never saw each other that trip… but we kept talking anyway After that I opened up about how worried I was about getting attached, especially knowing it wasnt serious He told me that he thought we actually became friends after the years of regular contact I expressed that it would be hard to just be friends if we both always wanted to sleep with each other He responded by saying that hes always happy to be sexual but that he actually enjoys just chatting with me Somehow not seeing him on that trip was proof enough that he was actually my friend Because if he only wanted to sleep with me he would have dropped me by then considering I had changed plans suddenly after getting him all excited right? Missing that trip meant that I could trust him more than I thought So we still chat regularly… Phone sex isnt always in the picture (Lets say its seasonal) I’m planning to fly back to Australia as they gave me a multiple entry visa He knows about it but we havent talked about seeing each other There is so much more to the story. I’ve tried to remove him from my life (and hes aware of it). Our momentum seems to be every two weeks we catch up. Its been pretty regular for the last 2 years. In total we have been speaking for 3 years. I’m in a stable place now in my life. I want to spend more time with him but only if we take it slow. Even if it never turns into anything romantic, I really like him as a human being, and I also think we are actually friends. submitted by /u/Lil_Ballerina_2394
Originally posted by u/Lil_Ballerina_2394 on r/AskMen