TLDR: I need a way to say I don’t know you I am a stranger and Its totally normal for you to be uncomfortable, feel free to tell me to stop, I won’t be mad I am interested in you, even though I don’t know you, and I want to go on a date with you I am confident in who I am as a person and I am not afraid of asking for something which I want, like this date. without giving the girl a whole soliloquy. << For context I am a 22 year old male presenting seeking female presenting in the US (mountain west). Slightly on autism spectrum, but not so much that dating is harder than it is for anyone else (presumably). I have started to approach people in coffee shops and bars and at the library and so on because I am interested in a relationship, and I’ve encountered a difficulty When asking a person out, what really makes me feel icky is lying, like saying “I think you’re really cool can i buy you coffee” I do not know you, you could be not cool. And if I am going to be romantically involved with you I gotta be for real. The other side of the spectrum, maybe what I really want to say is direct eye contact, big mischievous smile “I don’t know you yet. I think that’s a problem. how about we solve it over coffee” I think that’s sexy and confident and direct, while also being a better reflection of who I am as a person But I also understand that level of directness can be off putting or even alarming if your a sensitive person. And low key I am seeking a sensitive person because I am sensitive too. My sister said there’s nothing wrong with opening with “is it okay if I talk to you.” Or “do you mind if a stranger asks you out” which is a great idea. Using our human words to say “I understand this is an awkward and may be an uncomfortable thing for some people, and I care” But I think the dating advice I usually see online has poisoned me into thinking that comes off as un-confident, like you don’t need permission to be interested in someone, like worrying about another person before your own desires is unattractive to some people. Is there a way to make sure the person that I’m asking out is comfortable without coming off like I’m scared or don’t know my worth? What are your thoughts? submitted by /u/Nimhtom
Originally posted by u/Nimhtom on r/AskMen