I’m in my early 20s and on 3 separate occasions has a guy in my life misunderstood my friendliness for feelings and I’m having trouble understanding why. I’d get it if they’re being flirty and im accepting it, but each time the conversations were very platonic and normal, which is why I also never got the hint that they liked me in the first place. I pretty much talk to them the same way I would for any of my girl friends or other peers our age. Nothing ever gives flirty on either side of the conversation, and yet they end up asking me out and it puts the both of us in a really uncomfy situation. I am bummed about it because I really did enjoy talking to them and saw them as my friends, but then they ask me out from what feels like out of nowhere and eventually they just stop talking to me because they (understandably) feel a bit awkward. This whole thing does make me feel a bit disheartened though because it seems like these guys I’ve talked to can only be nice and funny w me because they wanted to date or do something else, and once I say no they just completely disappear. I know I can always clarify that I’m not romantically interested in them in the beginning to avoid this from happening, but it feels a bit conceited to lead w that and assume any guy talking to me is interested like that. I also don’t want to have to be standoffish with a guy just so they immediately get that I’m not into them cause I am naturally just a friendly person to everyone and i feel like being mean for no actual reason is largely outside of my character. submitted by /u/Academic_Royal_9987
Originally posted by u/Academic_Royal_9987 on r/AskMen