I want to elaborate and say that I do understand that some women give the rest of us a bad name by bringing up old shit in the sense of “remember that one time five years ago when you blah blah blah?” Usually about something that’s already been discussed, amends have been made, and seemingly at first, forgiveness occurred on the woman’s end. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’ll (39F) start by saying that I’ve had a few relationships in my life, and for the past 20 years, most of my friends have been men. I’ve had it happen enough times where I’ll attempt to bring up an issue (in the kindest, coolest, non-pressured way imaginable) that was never worked through to begin with. Usually meaning that when the issue happened or close afterwards, I was told “it’s not a good time” or “I don’t know” or “let’s not talk about depressing stuff”. Or worse, it’s a recurring pattern. It’s swept under the rug without resolving, and I’m left very hurt and in the dark. In an attempt to rectify the reason behind why it happened, their thought process about why that action took place so that we can mend, communicate and try to understand each other, ease pain, and if we’re on common ground about it to prevent it in the future. Sadly, the problem gets neglected even after I’ve spaced out the times I’ve asked so I don’t get accused of nagging, and then later it turns into, “Why are you bringing up old shit?” as if when it happened makes a difference of importance. Besides, it’s “old shit” because they purposely pushed away to make it become something that didn’t happen super recently. Men, from your point of view, please give me some insight and perhaps advice! submitted by /u/crazygirlyjax
Originally posted by u/crazygirlyjax on r/AskMen