I’ll be moving back home for a bit while I continue my job search. I’ll be focusing my search near and around my family because it’s been about 10 years since I’ve lived down there, my job network is there, and a lot of friends and nearly all my family live there. For reference, I’m moving down to SoCal from the Bay Area after getting my PhD in Montana. One thing I’ve noticed these last few years is that my BILs, Dad (more so recently), and sisters (most of my immediate family) tend to say things that make me look like I’m an elitist and ultimately make me feel uncomfortable. It’s not a major problem, but advice is welcome. Examples below: I broke my wrist last year and everyone made it seem like my world wouldn’t change. Everyone assumes I work a desk job, but I’m an experimental microfluidics and biochemical engineer who also bikes to work. I’ll mention my past experiences, like “back at UCR…” and all of a sudden I’m fancier than them. Even though UCR ain’t fancy lol. I’ll say something like “Oh yeah, my buddy from UCSD went to that aquarium a lot”. Then I get a classic “sounds like you paid a lot for a piece of paper”. I tend to be very precise in my language (working with international coworkers does that). And that tends to be misconstrued as condescending. I’m a bit of a nerd on certain topics and tend to know random things about everything. So I tend to not correct family, except when they are “arguing about facts”. I do a lot of independent research on things like child development, so when we discuss my niece I am well-informed. Her mom, my sister, takes that as accusatory and arrogant. Finally, I would get a lot of “You must enjoy living and working with the fancy people in the Bay Area and not us pions”. When I’m just a post-doc at a national lab. Any advice? Light hearted or otherwise. submitted by /u/nowhere_man_1992
Originally posted by u/nowhere_man_1992 on r/AskMen