I’m 20, I feel like the way I look and act isn’t very manly, I try to be, but I have a feeling people don’t perceive me to be. I’ve grown up with severe mental health issues where I feel like I missed a lot of development due to depression. I feel like my voice is on the higher end and I absolutely despise it, feels like I have little to no bass sometimes and people maybe don’t take me serious because of it. I’m in a relationship but I still live with my mom, and I’m going to school for music, I wear athletic clothes, but admit I have a sort of immature style, my hair is also sort of a childish hairstyle, I have something close to jheri curls. I feel like with my features acting manly is just performative and pointless because the way I’m perceived is already decided. I want to fix some of these issues, does anybody know where to start? I have social anxiety and once again mental health issues so my whole life I haven’t really improved much or past a certain extent, because I prefer to be comfortable. Any advice on becoming a better man and portraying myself as more masculine helps. Thank you. submitted by /u/overtooken
Originally posted by u/overtooken on r/AskMen
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I feel like with my features acting manly is just performative and pointless because the way I’m perceived is already decided.
Like… yes and no. I also have a high pitched voice and a boyish face. (To the point where I’m looking forward to going grey) a lot of being mature is learning the cards you’re dealt with and playing them effectively. A high pitched voice can cut through with a pointed question. “Hey what’s your plan if the fire travels up the lighter fluid when you pour it on the open flame?”
You may not be able to tower over someone and glower, but a polite grin and fearless stare can give someone pause even if they’re taller.
“Manly” can really steer people down the wrong path sometimes. You can be manly in a pink polo. You can be manly with a polite nod. There are a LOT of very different men out there, and being kind, courageous, and interesting mean far more to most people than “manly”.