Dear all, I’ve got into an interesting dilemma lately regarding my sexual peformances and also my personel enjoyment of it. I’m (late thirties male) currently in a 5 months relationship with a few years younger, gorgeous and kind woman. I’m a high performer, and until a few weeks back I’ve never had any issues lasting long (30m-2h+) or going round 2 if got overly exited. The change were critical, I went to 3-10 minutes after penetration and no round 2. My love was understandably frustrated by it, especially since she likes to get pounded hard and no amount of foreplay, oral and/or fingering can replace a good hard penis. It was caused by work stress, commute tiredness and funily by feeling safe and loved. I was relaxed and immensly enjoyed myself during our times and could got my head out of my problems by getting off, but it left her lacking. Now we talked a lot about it and could rest enough, so the causes mostly managed. It also means I got back my performance mentality which sadly makes me a bit tense. There’s no immediate problem to deal with, more of a possible improvement I’m searching for, this ‘lost’ closeness is something we like to gain back and keep. So here comes the dilemma, as I like to have my cake and also eat it. How do you ‘perform’ while also freely enjoying yourself? Currently it seems to me that either I focus on her or my pleasure, can’t do it really well simultanously. submitted by /u/HerrWeasel
Originally posted by u/HerrWeasel on r/AskMen
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