I was very social in High-school. I wouldn’t say i had the best HS experience, but I went to the same school since Kindergarten, and I am grateful that I am still in touch with a few. That was Abroad, and I moved back to the states when I was 18. I’m 24 and will finally be finished college now. My path through school has been anything but traditional. I’ve transferred schools, taken breaks, worked different jobs, and dealt with various life circumstances that made it difficult to stay in one place long enough to build lasting friendships. One thing I’ve noticed is that the older you get, the harder it seems to be to form genuine friendships. It feels like many people already have their established friend groups, relationships, and routines. I’ve also noticed that the longer I’ve gone without close friendships, the more self-conscious I’ve become in social situations. Sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten how friendships naturally develop, even though I genuinely enjoy meeting people and getting to know them. What’s worse, and I have had a bad mental “ issue” for a year or so, i distanced myself, and had to go live with my family. I then finally transferred to a good school, 2 years ago, but because I felt like i was not able to connect with my class mates ( Off campus, 22 and the others are like 18-19 years old) that also made me not feel connected. I genuinely feel like i have no type of personality that attracts, or any interesting going on for me that would attract some one to befriend me. I have always had good intentions towards people, but at this point, it feels extremely hard to socialize or cultivate anything meaningful. For those who found themselves in a similar situation in their mid-20s, how did you build meaningful friendships and a social circle? How do you move beyond casual acquaintances and create real, lasting relationships? It came to me to post this now because I moved to NYC, for a Finance role, and realized, though I knew people here at one point, we have lost contact, nor do we talk anymore, and it hits hard during weekends where you wanna go out but don’t want do it alone. This does not come from the perspective that I am not comfortable within my own skin, no. I’ve went out before by myself, grabbed drinks, dinners, and so forth. But I would obviously much prefer doing all these things with a good group of friends. I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who had a nontraditional college experience or felt like they were “starting over” socially in adulthood. Thanks in advance for any advice. Apologies for the long post. submitted by /u/Sufficient-Glass1144
Originally posted by u/Sufficient-Glass1144 on r/AskMen
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