My friend (let’s call him David) has loved a girl deeply for years. He was always emotionally available for her, supported her through breakdowns, stayed loyal emotionally, and always hoped maybe someday she would choose him. But she never really prioritized him romantically. He was more like the safe person who was always there. At the same time, she would talk to David about “us” and about giving things time. She even told him that what they had was basically dating. On one occasion, David directly asked her to choose between him and her ex. She clearly said her ex wasn’t even in the picture anymore, that David was the one she wanted to be with, and the one she was talking to seriously. Recently, during a deep conversation, she opened up about her past and told David not to judge her. Apparently, even after her breakup, her ex would keep calling her for parties or meetups, they would end up hooking up, and then he would emotionally disappear again. This cycle continued for a long time because she was still attached to him and couldn’t fully move on. She later found out that during much of this time, her ex had actually been seriously involved with another girl, going on trips with her and building a relationship, while continuing to tell her that the other girl was “just a friend.” Now she feels like she was emotionally and physically used while he was building a future elsewhere. What makes this harder for David is that she recently admitted that during the same period she was still hooking up with her ex because she was into him, she always saw David as a potential life partner. After realizing everything about her ex, she says something changed in her and she now sees David differently and much more seriously. Honestly, I understand both sides. On one hand, she genuinely seems emotionally damaged and manipulated by a toxic attachment. On the other hand, David spent years emotionally investing in someone who was telling him he was the one she wanted while still being emotionally and physically involved with her ex. If you were in David’s position: • Would you move forward? • Would you feel like a second choice or safe option? • Or would you see this as someone finally waking up after a toxic attachment? submitted by /u/targaryensz
Originally posted by u/targaryensz on r/AskMen
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