Original Reddit post

I’m asking this in good faith because I genuinely want male perspectives. Throughout my life, most of the serious harms I’ve experienced have come from men. Catcalling and sexual comments since childhood, watching my father abuse my mother, consent violations on dates, domestic violence from an ex, and other experiences that left me increasingly fearful and distrustful. Intellectually, I know not all men are like this. I know abusive people are often more visible. I know I tend to hear more stories from other victims because those are the people I relate to. I know I unknowingly gravitated towards unsafe men because they felt familiar. I also know genuinely good men. The problem is that emotionally, I still react to unfamiliar men with fear, disgust, and mistrust until they prove themselves safe over a long period of time. If you’ve never been abusive yourself, what would you want someone like me to understand about men that I might be missing? Also, what are some male struggles I don’t see as a woman? And if you’ve been hurt yourself, how do you avoid becoming bitter toward an entire group of people? submitted by /u/justsomerandomalien

Originally posted by u/justsomerandomalien on r/AskMen