After lots of introspection, I came to the conclusion that the reason why I have such low self-esteem, why I always end up being a people-pleaser and return to fawning, is because I feel insecure of my own masculinity (28 years old here). Why do I feel insecure? Because the environment I grew up in taught me that anything masculine (like being assertive, “aggressive” in a healthy way so to speak, etc.) is bad by default and that I should shut the fuck up and do as women wish. Non-sexualized femdom so to speak. This attitude kind of continues even in workspace (especially in relation to other co-workers), where a softer and kind tone is seen as better than a rough but more masculine way of doing things. I know that this is such a bullshit that it’s better to be hated for being “masculine” than not be hated but feel insecure about yourself. I don’t mean by “being masculine” being an asshole, I mean things like being assertive, being determined to fight for your goals, to be hard when it comes to certain topics, not being afraid of arguments and standing up for yourself. All these things have literally be laughed upon when I was brought up, thus raising guys as pure pussies to be a punchbag for women and their slaves (I dramatize of course a bit here, but subconsciously this is exactly what has happened). So how can I reclaim my masculinity again? It’s hard to even imagine a “masculine” version of myself after all of that. submitted by /u/Intelligent-Slide556
Originally posted by u/Intelligent-Slide556 on r/AskMen