I know for many of you this will sound fucking pathetic but as a result of whatever childhood trauma, I’ve been simply unable to leave this toxic relationship that I’m in. It is horrendous and we argue all the time. Like aalllll the time. She has done an impeccable job of gaslighting me and making me feel like all I have to do is try a little bit harder and do things ever so slightly differently and we won’t argue. I feel like I know this is bullshit because I’ve tried so many times and she still shouts at me for getting things slightly wrong, but somehow whenever we are close to breaking up there’s always something to latch on to as hope that I/we can change and it can get better. I’ve got a notes app of just some of the times that I feel she’s been totally unfair and made me feel horrendous, and even just recording it since October last year it’s a mile long. It all reaches a head inside my head when we get close to buying property, where we’ve been a few times but I always manage to stave off. We’ve put an offer in for a house in IL and I’m terrified. Part of the reason it’s so hard is because 80% of the time it’s joyous. To the extent that she accepts her culpability she says that she’ll change and the arguments will stop when we’re not renting our moldy, tiny one bedroom flat. I just feel like I cannot believe it when she shows me her truly (what feels like) narcissistic self and it’s just not a risk I can take. For anyone who has been in a situation before where they are being gaslit and manipulated into staying in a toxic relationship, how did you get out? submitted by /u/BonnyJonesBones
Originally posted by u/BonnyJonesBones on r/AskMen