Hi everyone, I have started the process of applying for assisted suicide, because I have tried hard for many years to find a reason or a feeling to live for, but I just feel heaviness all the time. I think perhaps I have just been dealt the wrong cards for the capacity I can handle. My timeline will hopefully only be about a year for which I made a bucket list of all the things I still want to see and do. I thought maybe to spend the best remaining time with friends and family to tell them now, but at the same time I fear that might really harm their health, having this topic linger over them. Perhaps anyone who had someone in their circle decide on assisted suicide can give me some advice on how to handle this topic best? I am not sure if it is oversharing, but perhaps for some context. My father and most of my immediate family passed away when I was young. Now I have 2 living immediate family members left where one is emotionally abusive and an uncle who unfortuantely is no contact because he is a drug addict who threatend to unalive me and previously physically harmed me. I have long term friendships +15years, but even those are quite toxic sometimes, not all but a lot and unfortunately none cared for when things are hard for me. I always try to be caring and upbeat even when feeling down, except when my mom wen through chemo - my friends actively ghosted me during that time. Im return if they have bad days I often get to feel the full burden of it through aggression or acting as their punching bag for most types of friend-/relationships. It’s exhausting. I worked really hard mostly and made savings, but because I got most of my teeth messed up when I was 13-14 I am dealign with - unfortunately not exaggerating - average CHF1.000 a year upwards just maintaining them as constantly things break and paid nearly 10k for braces and bite correction with minimal insurance refund. So building financial gains seems impossible. It feels like being on a treadmill instead of taking actual steps forward. Mostly alone in a world surrounded by toxic relationships, barely any family and not really a way for financial freedom + sprinkle depression in, I have been trying to improve all those aspects for the past 5 years actively and trying to deal with depression the past 15years but all actually just gotten a lot worse this year so Im unfortuantely giving in. I also want to say I am truly sorry for not being able to appreciate my time on earth more. I have been making it a point the past 10years to regularly donate blood and thrombozytes and am on the list of stem cell donors and will donate my organs when I am gone. I really do want help others live their best life thats also why I pursued a career in health research. So yes any advice I would be super grateful. Thanks in advance 🩵 submitted by /u/Slow_Ad_6328
Originally posted by u/Slow_Ad_6328 on r/Switzerland