Hi everyone, I’m 35 and have been single the past 1.5 years after a divorce. I’ve dated a little bit since then, but not too much. I have had a lot of crushes, though. I’ve had a crush on a woman I know from school the past year or so. I never acted on it since I’ve been unsure on her interest and my readiness to date. The more I’ve gotten to know her, I realized there’s something simple or uninteresting about her that doesn’t always show itself, but sporadically I’ve seen glimpses. Very recently, I worked with her on a school project and realized she’s just kind of…dumb. I don’t mean a complete idiot, but just not as sharp as I was assuming. She is younger, but it feels like it’s more than that. She’s a very kind person, so I’m not doubting her character. This has made me realize I do value intelligence quit a lot with women, they don’t need to be geniuses but a sharp mind is a huge turn on. Physical attraction, of course, is important, but I definitely can’t bet on that solely. I feel arrogant thinking this way, but it’s how I feel. I’ve always hated smug and cocky intellectual people, so it feels hypocritical for me. I think I’m a fairly smart dude, but not some Mensa level person. Can anyone else relate? How do you integrate this into dating without being too judgmental and picky? Thanks. submitted by /u/Majestic_Cup_957
Originally posted by u/Majestic_Cup_957 on r/AskMen
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I’d just be bored if my wife wasn’t smart enough to understand what I’m talking about (and vice versa, ofc). You don’t have to be judgemental about it (and how could you? People choose to be “smart” as much as they choose to be “tall”, lol [in quotation marks because they’re not binary things but a spectrum and highly dependent on the person measuring]), but you will still need to find someone compatible and reject those who aren’t cause why would you waste their time?