For context I’m 19F. I’ve had one BF in the past, and one GF in the past, but not very experienced in love. (Still virgin, don’t really know what men want.) Recently found out from mutual friends my male ex was watching porn while we were together behind my back. When we were together, I expressed that it was against my boundaries and he agreed to those terms of the relationship. I know a lot of guys will say it’s “purely sexual” and therefore not cheating but I just cannot be with someone who touches themself to other people. My self esteem is destroyed. I don’t understand why he’d do it, or why he’d lie about it. I was sending plenty of explicit photos literally WHENEVER requested because I didn’t want him to crave anything else and was scared he’d lose interest. Maybe that was part of the problem and caused him to see me as less respectable? We were in a long-term relationship though. My male friends tell me I’m prettier than those models and shouldn’t blame my appearance but idk if they’re just being nice. Even though I found out after the breakup, I still feel horrible and insufficient. I’m wondering if this is normal, and if it is normal then maybe I should abstain from dating? Or date exclusively women if p0rn usage is less common among them? I’ve been crying a lot since I found out and adult women in my life have been telling me I’m dramatic and that I will never realistically be with a guy who abstains from p0rn, but guy friends have been telling me they wouldn’t watch porn if they had a girl, but they might be trying to protect my hope in relationships so I’m conflicted. submitted by /u/Cannibal_Do11
Originally posted by u/Cannibal_Do11 on r/AskMen